Decade in Review

Since 2009 was pretty much a quiet year for us, and the news keeps talking about this decade being over, I thought I'd blog instead of a year-end review, a decade-end review! 10 years ago, Ryan and I were newlyweds. Ryan had just had surgery to remove what was at first believed to be a cancerous tumor in his neck. In December of 1999, Ryan started UTI trade school, on his way to become a mechanic. In Feb 2000 I became sick and by April of 2000 I was progressively worse. By July 2000 it seemed hopeless, because the doctors where constantly looking for MS. We decided, a little rashly I will admit, that it was now or never to have kids. So we celebrated our first year anniversary and our new coming baby in Sept, 2000. Ryan graduated UTI in March 2001, and started working at City of Anaheim in July. I became a stay-at-home mom when Anna came in April 2001, and of course Sept 11th changed everyone's lives. April 2002 came and we decided to go for baby number 2, which was brought to us on Jan 25th 2003. In March of 2004 Ethan got a septic infection in his knee and spent 21 days in the hospital. It was a horrible time for me especially. Ethan has always been our sickest one, he gets ill so easily and the asthma makes it worse. I was used to at this point being in the ER with him, but that long in the hospital was very hard. Baby number three was conceived December 2003, and brought us the completion of our family in August of 2004. In November of 2004 we met with Bill and Teresa Seybert and another huge change took place: We switched from Inland Community Church, our home church of 9 years, to be a part of the church plant, Imagine. By this point my illness was pretty much under control and since the doctors didn't seem to know what was wrong with me, I pretty much had given up all hope of ever knowing. That's okay with me, I'm not progressing any and since everythings under control I have given it up to the Lord and am feeling pretty good now. In March of 2006 we decided to move to our new home in San Bernardino, next to our church. I still drive by our first house sometimes and miss it. We put so much heart and soul into that house! Anna started kindergarten in 2006, Ethan in 2008 and Christian started kindergarten this year! 2007 was a really bad year for us. First Ryan burned his cornea doing the laundry of all things, which required him to take all of his sick time. Then my grandmother, whom I loved dearly, passed away in March 2007. In April our house flooded and we need to replace drywall and flooring in a good portion of the house. In June 2007 Ryan found another mass in his throat, and in July my great-grandmother passed away. Ryan had surgery to remove the possibly cancerous mass the beginning of Oct, but because all of his sick time was used earlier and his vacation time was used for the months of doctors appointments leading up to this, it was all without pay. That made our finiancial situation really tough. Anna got sick and spent 2 days in the hospital in the middle of Oct, at the same time wildfires roared around us and pretty much trapped us in our homes with freeway closures. Then my uncle died at the end of the month. 2008 saw stablization, and like I said, 2009 has been pretty good. I think the most trying of all has been Ethan in school the past two years. Which given all that has happened, I think I can deal with!! I still don't know how I would/will handle his diagnosis, if they do say he's autistic. I'm still not entirely convinced he is though. But I will deal with whatever happens much like I've done everything else. And that is pretty much our decade in a nutshell!

Ethan's Austism Evaluation..

Last Friday Ethan had his autism evaluation. Basically, although he scored low (which is a good thing), and he didn't have any of the social issues common with autism (another good thing), there were a few markers that raised some flags, so he'll go through a full panel of doctors for diagnosis. The doctor is really stressing that we need a comprehensive evaluation before we try to diagnosis him with anything. So he'll see a pyschitrist, occupational therapist, speech therapist, herself (pediatric neurologist) and someone else, I forget who. The first step is an intake appointment that she is going to try to wave, since that's basically what she did at the evaulation. The next step after that is seeing the panel of doctors. She confirmed what I already knew though.. that he had some definite markers for both ADHD and autism, but that he didn't fully fit the bill. My fear this whole time is that they'll label him with both, under mild and non-specific. I don't know if I'm okay with it. This is trying, and difficult for me. I'm aware of his differences, but I'm just not positive it's anything more than a strong personality combined with a bright child. I asked about intelligence testing, she said that needs to come from the school district. I don't know if the school will work better with him if he's labeled gifted. If he is labeled gifted and still labeled mild, non-specific PDD and ADHD, what in the world does a school do with that? In my perfect world, teachers would be less human and more angels.. seeing all the positives in the kids, and working to make a difference in their lives by teaching kids through example instead of seeing all the negatives in a kid and getting frustrated by those faults that all people have. But, teachers are nothing more than human after all and Ethan is frustrating to deal with. I suppose I'm just going to have to accept this as a fact and do my best to uplift my child and get the teachers to look past all the negative junk on the surface to the depths of goodness beneath.

Since he won't read this..

Ryan turns 30 on Saturday. He's totally into birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc. Where as I'm totally not. I'm the one who forgets the anniversary, not Ryan. And many a year for his birthday has he gotten upset and moody because I'd forgotten it. But it's really difficult trying to do something for him, because we are so intuned to each other. Everytime I've ever tried, he's figured it out! I can't do or buy anything for him without him knowing as soon as I do it! This year has been no exception. I decided that I would throw him a really causal surprise party. No big plans, order some pizza, throw out some invites, I didn't even discuss or plan anything. I just did it. Hoping of course that he'd have no clue. But sure enough, the day after I gave out the invites he calls me while at work. He says,"I think you should throw me a party". I wanted to cry. Or hit him. Or laugh. Maybe all three. I also on the spur of the moment, after vowing I'd never buy him one.. went out and bought him the iPod he wants. And somehow that same day he knew! I haven't confirmed yet either, but I know he won't be surprised. Bummer. At least I know that he'll be a happy boy, knowing how much I love him, that I would go to all this trouble to give him a party AND a present. If only we weren't SO close....

Is it time to blog again??

You know, I often forget this is here. And it's not really because I'm too busy to remember. It's just not something I think of. Maybe if more people followed my blog, I'd be more inclined to post. I think I'll start telling people it's here...

Ethan went in for his ADHD evaluation a few weeks ago, after his doctors appointment and our parenting crash course. After reviewing the information the teacher and I provided, and talking with him, and asking Ryan and I questions, the doctor decided she wasn't positive it was ADHD. She said she thought he wasn't openly defiant for the sake of defiance, but rather he was acting out in situations he was uncomfortable in. She recommended an autism evaluation, so we go again on Dec. 11th. I'm not surprised, but I'm still not sure where all of this will end up. I predicted that he'd be diagnosed with some combination of the two, both mild cases. We'll see if I'm right. If I am, it still leaves me with the "what to do next" question. Or, on the other hand, she can say he has tendencies towards both but doesn't qualify for either (that's what I think really is the case), and I still have the "what to do next" question. Hopefully she'll have productive answers for me.

I'm constantly thinking about the foster care situation. I feel guilty that I've pushed it aside. The strangest thing came shipped to my house last week: 2 cans of baby formula! It reminded me that God's calling is still there, even if I'm reluctant to follow. Prayer for this would be huge. More along the lines of prayer that I get up off my lazy butt and just do what I need to, to finish the mostly done paperwork and send it in.

Anna recently got another academic award. This time in Mathmatics. She's mastered her times tables really fast. She's so proud of herself. We did decide to go ahead and have her take her SCAT's for John Hopkins. She was really disappointed when she found out we weren't planning on doing it. I see the advantages though. So we've started preparing for the tests in February. But I worry about how much stock she takes in her intelligence. She expects total perfection in everything, and won't accept anything less in herself. She cried this grading period when she got 4 G's (sort of like a B grade) on her report card. She wanted all E's. She also got very upset when she didn't think she was getting an award, she expected it so much. I don't know how to get her to be proud of doing her best, regardless of recognition. In preparing for the SCAT's, she's been doing higher grade level work.. I watch her doing 5th grade work and see how easy she can grasp the subject matter and do the work. It amazes me just how intelligent she is. I'm blown away by her every day. I just wish she saw herself in a more positive light and wouldn't be so hard on herself. Anyone know how to convince her that she's awesome, even without her giftedness and talents?

Christian is becoming the most annoying little brother ever. I suppose it's to be expected, aren't all little brothers notorious for tormenting their older siblings?? Boy, does he ever know how to torment them both. He's also becoming very melodramatic and has such a flare for comedy. I saw this personality coming out last year in preschool, always the class clown. Lives to make people laugh. I'm very curious to see how he grows and changes in the coming years. I think he might wind up being an even bigger handful older, than his siblings were younger. But maybe it's a trade off? Horrible preschool years means better teenage years? Or am I just deluding myself??

School Update- October 1st 2009

Wow, I just read my last (and first?) post, I can't believe how much has changed since July!

Anna, of course, is doing wonderfully. She did get her Medal of Honor award. She also scored several sections of the Cal. STAR testing at 100%, and qualified for the John Hopkins University, Center for Talented Youth. Which is pretty cool. But I don't think we'll do anything with that yet only because it costs money, something we just don't have right now.

Christian excelled beyond my expectations in kindergarten so far. It's been amazing just how much he's grown! And his speech! Wow! I can now understand him 99% of the time, where as in January it was only 75% of the time I knew what he was saying! He started therapy in June, and it really has made a world of difference!

Ethan is another story. I started the school year so optimistic, but he just isn't doing well at all. Problem, after problem, after problem. Tomorrow we go in for the first of several evaluations. I've been dragging my feet on this for years, I'm still not sure how I'll react to what they say. Is it autism? Is it ADHD? Is it some unknown? I use to worry about the labels, but right now he's being labeled as "bad" at school, so I suppose any other label would be better than that.

Because of the issues and stress from this, I've put off the foster care thing. I have my excuses... I went to make my doctors appointment (the last paperwork we need), but my doctor moved and I need a new one and there is a waiting list.. yada, yada, yada.. plus we don't have the $90 for the CPR class we have to have, so I just pushed it aside. I keep telling myself I'll get to it, but right now I'm just not sure I'm ready to care for another child. Not with what I'm going through with Ethan.

I have a lot of opinions on the whole Ethan thing.. Personally, I just think all the adults around him need to give him all the time and attention he needs, and things will be great. I don't think anything is "wrong" with him, it's just who he is. But I suppose life doesn't work that way in the real world. So I figure if I just take him out of the situation, I can give him what he needs, but I suppose that's not realistic either. So off to the doctor we go. Not sure yet what I'll do with whatever they give me, but it's going somewhere instead of sitting around hoping things will change. All I know is I cannot stand to see my kid labeled, punished, and what I feel is pretty much unfairly treated just because the adults don't have the time to put what they need to into him. I guess if we find out there is a reason he needs more time, no matter what the reason, it'll promote the changes I'm looking for. I think it's sad that I have to do all this to get him the help he needs, but if that's what it takes, that's what I'm willing to do. But we can use all the pray during this time.. guidance from the Lord will be key here!

End of the School Year, 2009

Tomorrow, Ethan will be graduating Kindergarten. I'm so relieved the year is almost over. It's been a tough one for me. I think it's affected me more than Ethan, or anyone else for that matter. For those of you who know Ethan, you understand that he can be very stubborn and opinionated. His teacher this year decided that she'd be the one to "break" him of this, and the year that followed was a battle of wills that neither side ever won. My nerves were completely shot from it. But in 3 days school will be over and a new year will begin. The teachers and subs who've been in the class have told me that he won't face these same issues in the upper grades because the teachers just don't have the time to get into it with him, and that he's just very bright and needs to learn how to keep himself busy when he's not engaged because he simply won't get that attention all day long. We'll see how next year goes though.

Christian starts Kindergarten soon. He had a decent year in preschool, he's grown so much too! We discovered he had a speech delay, but he's been doing therapy now and has improved so much with just a little direction! I did make sure he had an IEP before school started, so that he gets all the help he needs, but I think that after a year or so of therapy it'll be a non-issue. He's just where I wanted him to be academically before Kindergarten, I had always worried that things didn't come as easy to him as the others and that he'd struggle, but he's doing completely fine and will actually go in ahead of his class just like Anna and Ethan, so there aren't any worries there either!

Anna of course is the perfect child, all the way around. Well, except for her temper issues, but she has to have some sort of fault right?? She's up for another Medal of Honor, she'll receive her awards on Thursday. I honestly will be shocked if she doesn't get it, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high, just in case. But straight A student with perfect citizenship, she's every teachers dream. She's recently started playing guitar, she loves it! And she's also got a good talent for singing, so she's decided that while Girl Scouts is on break for summer, she'll take her birthday money and do singing lessons. She wants to start of with the techinical lessons before the performance lessons, so she can learn the right way to sing. It made me laugh alittle, because she thinks everything through before making decisions. She got 100% on her Raven GATE test this year, but that didn't surprise anyone.

Ryan so far hasn't had any medical problems, actually none of us have this year, so it's shaping up to be a great one. However with our luck in this area, we'll all get swine flu and die by the end of the year. :) Ryan's still working at the City of Anaheim, he's gotten into a good groove and works side jobs to suppliment the income. We've cut up the credit cards and are living pretty cheaply these days, but hopefully we'll be on track to be out of debt in the next year or two, so that is a good thing.

And then there is the big news for our family: We're fostering! Ryan really feels lead by God to foster, and I could find nothing to disagree with, so we went ahead an put in our application in April. We have one more week of parenting classes, and some more forms to fill out before we have our home studies. We'll likely have a new child in our home by the fall. It's an exciting and sort of scary time for us, because it's unknown, but I know that we're doing the right thing by helping out families that need the help. We don't have money, but we do have love and stability and God. That's what we can give to these children, and their birth parents. Hopefully this will make a positive difference in the lives of people who really need it. I'm kinda hoping for a baby, selfishly, since all my babies are "grown up" and in school now. I need a cuddly little bundle of love to keep my mind busy when my kids are in school and I'm all alone. :) But naturally our goal is to help whoever God brings into our home. But if you're willing to pray for selfish wishes, you can pray for a little baby for me. :)

So that covers where our family is for the moment.